You know us humans are nasty, self-absorbed little critters. Well at least I am.
As my girls grow up, especially as Sunday determinedly leaves the Baby Zone, every day life is getting decidedly easier.
But do I notice this? Do I send gratitude and squishy hugs out into the universe? Do I? Noooo.
It's only when things get crappy that I realise how seldom it happens anymore, it's only when the universe says 'Oi! Remember this?!' that I take a moment to reflect on how much smoother life runs these days.
Example:
Yesterday I had to drop in at the supermarket with both girls. A scenario I usually avoid but you know, school holidays ...
I had some groceries to buy and a pack of wrong-size nappies to return.
When we got there Friday declared she'd like to wait in the car. Not going to happen. A fast and furious debate followed, her getting more vocal about not wanting to go into the shop, me getting firmer, all the while trying to avoid too much detail about exactly why she couldn't stay out in the car by herself (sometimes I think it would be so much easier to just be one of those parents who says; 'Someone will take you' and be done with it).
I get Sunday out of her car seat. Wet. Through.
Sigh.
Change her nappy on the front seat, put wet pants on dashboard to dry in the sun (I'm classy like that), strap her into the pouch and go round the car to get Friday out.
Discover that she's been spending her sulk picking holes in the pack of nappies I'd been intending on returning.
Lovely.
Finally we leave car, get across the busy parking lot and into the shop when ... my shoe breaks.
Of course.
Let's recap: one (still slightly damp) toddler, one grumpy child, one operative shoe. Groceries required. Mood = foul.
And then I realised, I haven't felt like this in ages.
There was a time not very long ago when I regularly had moments of feeling that life with two small children and their different demands was very trying. I admit to a lot of feeling sorry for myself (like I was some kind of victim - so silly really), and a liberal sprinkling of disbelief when people assured me things would get easier.
I realise now it really does get easier, but as my Mum always says, so slowly you often don't even notice.
I hereby pledge to notice more often. And be grateful. And keep spare shoes in the car.
I can relate. I remember when all 3 of my boys were under 2, I was still breast-feeding, sleep deprived etc. I said to my husband, "Some day you and I will sit down and share a bottle of wine." Seemed like an unreachable goal (if drinking wine can be a goal at all) but let's just say, we've surpassed our own expectations.... Love your blog. And thanks SO much for commenting on my column. I really appreciate that. Katherine
ReplyDeleteShew Katherine, I so CAN'T relate to how hard those early years must've been!
ReplyDeleteLove your column :)
Great post that perfectly sums up the challenges of motherhood. It does get better but some days it just doesn't feels like a struggle. Am also a parent who avoids the threat of 'someone might get you'. Spent 3 months in capetown 10 years ago - enjoyed looking around your blog . X
ReplyDeletei end up in puddles sometimes and my kids aren't really close enough in age to allow that. i mean, finn is going to be four in january. CRAP. FOUR. she's not a baby anymore, you know?
ReplyDeletesigh.
it's refreshing to hear that you will have those days and realize...you haven't felt that way in ages. i'm looking forward to that.