You have to read it like the original Otis Redding. You have to feel the yearning.
For my arms are feeling it when I hold my small girl close, when I feel
the recognition in my muscles, the knowing how to hold this little body,
and the sadness these arms feel already, knowing she won't be so little
for much longer.
Mah baybee.
It's so ridiculously biological it's almost laughable.
I'm not a big baby fan, both my girls I've enjoyed so much more after
their first birthdays. I don't miss breastfeeding (much), I don't miss
having that small being ON me all the time, I love being able to
communicate with words, I love watching them grow more independent.
But my arms, they refute all of this when I hold my Sunday close,
especially in her warm and floppy moments, and the muscles sing with
yearning, with already full-blown nostalgia, with the shattering
knowledge that the next baby, if any, that I'll hold with this kind of
kinship, will be a grandchild.
Mah baybeeeeeeeee.
She's becoming such a big girl.
She LOVES a doll. In fact, the more the lovelier. Whereas Friday's only ever had one doll,
and was never particularly into playing dolly, Sunday has a host of
'babas' - all of whom get canoodled and paraded around and pushed in the
pram/wheelbarrow/random box.
She HATES orange food. Barring cheese, she won't even look twice at butternut, carrot, peach, melon, pawpaw etc.
She HATES hats. She LOVES cats. She SCREAMS when outraged and SQUEALS
when happy. She LOVES/HATES/LOVES/HATESbutmostlyLOVES her big sister.
She wields a mean bitch-slap, can scratch like a tiger and likes to bite me.
She LOVES her dad and wanders disconsolately around the house carrying one of his slippers calling 'Daddy?'
She's a big little person, our Sunday. I love watching her develop, but I wish she wouldn't grow so fast.
Wish she'd stay my little woman for just a bit longer.
Lovely to read...
ReplyDeleteI have a deep love/discomfort relationship with my heavy 21 month old. She insists on lying on me to go to sleep and regularly demands to lie on me during the night. This sounds like too much but I LOVE it, because when she lies on me I get a full body hug, she wraps her legs around me and I wrap my arms around her back, with my lips planted on the top of the head. I get to gently squeeze her fat little thighs, gently comb her soft hair with my fingers and hum my Nick Cave ballads, I love it, but I also hate it, as I cant sleep while being squashed.
Yup, that's exactly the dilemma: loving having her on you, but not actually being able to sleep!
ReplyDeleteOooo that physical love - it's primal.
Thanks J x