... the spongy metallic taste of the underneath of my tooth, straining from its socket on one last thread as my tongue teases it and teases it, just stopping short as I wince at the imagined pain. Until one day I don't and suddenly hold my tooth in my hand.
... the exact texture required to drip drip drip wet beach sand into stalagmite towers of unbelievable height and grace on the side of the lagoon. The distinct satisfaction of building one higher than your
... the hot flash of humiliation when you realise that an action or word intended in jest was simply not funny, and in fact hurtful to someone you love. Not to say we ever stop doing this, but the blade of humiliation seems to become duller with age, as you learn to temper it by convincing yourself of the other party's contribution - only children are honest enough to carry the burden themselves.
... how still the still is when you live in perpetual motion. As an adult I can be completely silent in my head while frantically busy with my hands, I can lie perfectly still whilst churning up inside. But now I remember the stillness of a child lying on hot paving next to a pool - hearing nothing but breath, feeling nothing but heartbeat and drying skin, watching the world through wet eyelashes.
... the abandon, the absorption, the anger, the apoplexies of laughter - living it all completely and without question.
I'm listing this one under 'benefits'.
...the importance of digging holes in the sand in the shallow part of the beach because there might be dinosaur bones down there and oil and someone's old chevy or a moon rock...
ReplyDeleteI can relate (but mine are teens) and don't tell anyone...they have not yet lost their sense of childlike wonder...it almost makes me cry that I have done that one thing (one thing!) right as a parent.
That is a massively big thing (and I'm sure not the only one) to have gotten right - go you!
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