three going on thor

She'll be three in 10 days time and I've had NO idea what to get her for her birthday.

What do you get the kid who has four dolls, plays with them regularly, but ALL their accessories are imaginary? An empty box full of 'baby clothes'?

What do you get the kid who basically wants to be read to ALL day long, in a house already bursting with books? A paid drama student to read to her with all the appropriate voices?

What do you get the kid who has an older sister so there's one of everything she could want in the house already? Tea set - check. Dolls house - check. Blocks, books, dolls, puzzles, mini-kitchen etc - check.

What do you get the kid who has everything she needs really, but must have something to unwrap on her birthday morning right?

What do you get the kid who's currently a tyrannical torturous tantrummy tot with VERY SPECIFIC notions of what she does and does not like? A gift voucher? Ha ha ha.

I was at a dead loss until a few days ago when she declared, out of the blue, that she'd like a sword for her birthday. To fight dinosaurs, monsters, big frogs for mummy, baddies and dragons - in that order I think.
A sword.

So my question really is: would it be so wrong to get her a sword? Obviously not a proper goblin-made one, I can see how she doesn't quite have the fine motor control for that, but a nice hippie Waldorf one?

My mother is horrified, presumably at the notion of giving a 3 yr old a weapon. Husband is not supportive, declaring rightly so that a wooden sword can still inflict a lot of damage - namely to her sister.

But I'm more than a little tempted. I think there's something empowering about it, I like that she's casting herself as the hero in this particular imagining. I like that a sword can be a prop for an expanding selection of games including knights and vikings, intrepid explorers and swashbuckling adventurers.
Aren't we always told that the princess fantasy is a weak one, playing the victim waiting for a knight to swoop in and rescue the helpless maiden? Aren't we encouraged to teach our daughters they can be anything, they can be the rescuers, they can hold the power? Would there be as much objection to a boy wanting a sword for his 3rd birthday?

A year ago I'd have rejected the idea of giving a 3 year old a sword purely on the basis that I believe you don't give children weapons. But now, as she talks about her sword daily, and her birthday approaches, I'm not so sure.
What do you think?

Happy Book Giving Day!

I know, I know, this is not what 14 February is most well known for but ... I'm afraid I'm a bit of a Valentine's Grinch, and this ... (from International Book Giving Day's website):

International Book Giving Day is a day dedicated to getting new, used and borrowed books in the hands of as many children as possible.

... appeals to my heart far, far more.

As does this. A sign outside a house in Muizenberg, and a low wall which regularly gets filled with books, books free to any interested reader.
It's always a mixed bag there (as you can see) but the point is not to get precious about this, the point is to get reading.

People from around the world really get into the spirit of things on Book Giving Day, initiating all kinds of campaigns around getting children to read. There are many ways of getting involved, not least of all this fantastic plan hatched down here in the South by se7en.
The goal is to build, book by book, a library for a small community in Stanford, outside of Hermanus.

New books, old books, big books, small books ... read more here and get involved, I promise you it'll warm the cockles of your heart!

use your rage

What do we do with this rape-related outrage we're all carrying? What do I do with it?

I have no sons so I can't promise to raise them to respect women, women's rights, hell - people's rights. The men in my life, my husband, brothers, father, friends, brothers-in-law are all normal, sensitive, kind, decent men.
I have no men to 'educate' as it were.

I have daughters.

What do I do with this impotent rage? Teach my daughters to defend themselves? To never wear short skirts or frequent dark corners or stay out late or be alone with a man, any man, for fear they'll be victims.
How far do you think I'll get with that?
Do I hope and trust that other parents of boys, fathers especially, will teach their sons not to hurt my daughters?

It all feels so passive.

I feel this surge through the country, we all do, but what do we DO? What can each and every one of us DO?

Today, after reading and listening for days, I posted the link to Rape Crisis on Facebook. All I could think to do at the end of this horrific week was to make a donation, to urge others to do so.
I hope I can persuade you to do so too.

Rape Crisis, to make a donation go here.