fear factor

I caught a little bit of a fascinating talk on the Redi Thlabi Show about the different roles mothers and fathers play in their children's lives. It was interesting because her guest (whose name I didn't get!) had some pretty unique and fresh input, more than the staid 'mothers teach you to nurture and fathers to throw a ball' kind of crap.

One of my best things was he said that an important role of fathers is to teach their daughters to be fearless. He expanded: fearless to hammer a nail/ trust a man/ jump off a high rock/ stand by her convictions/ argue a point/ be vulnerable/ be pretty.
And then I got to where I was going and had to turn the radio off. I wish I could have carried on listening.

But I've been thinking about it a lot since.

I think Husband's doing pretty well on this. He gave Friday the fearlessness to take on that big swing, and she regularly enjoys a little adrenalin rush on the back of his bike (in the road outside our house, going really slowly...).

She's proving to be strong and confident pushing herself off on a borrowed paddle-ski last weekend with nary a fear or hesitation.

It does my heart proud to see my girls being courageous. And I think I'm not bad at encouraging their bravado myself.

There's a very steep pedestrian bridge near our house and it was on my watch that the girls started careening down it on their black plastic pushbikes, screeching down at heart-stopping speeds all screams of delight and burning rubber off the soles of their sneakers, drawing appreciative glances from the teenage skate-boarders milling around.
I was thrilled with my little daredevils.

Ironically though the first time their father witnessed this activity he was horrified. As the girls flew down the bridge towards us he couldn't look - crouching on the ground covering his face babbling about skin grafts and hospital stays.
I was forthwith stripped of my title of Super Cool Mum and instead branded Negligent Parent of the Week, and a new rule was decreed:
Helmets!

I guess it's all about finding that balance between their fearlessness and our own ...