this kid

A year ago I was in turmoil with this little person. And so I'm here now with the proof that 'this too shall pass' is the singular most valuable parenting phrase EVER COINED.

Sunday is nearly 4. She's grown like the proverbial weed (the latest spurt being 3 cm in 2 months!) - and not just physically.

There was a moment a few months back when I realised that every day there were moments of potential conflict (put on shoes, get out car, have a wee, eat your supper - all of these the very trenches of parenting warfare as you know), where I was holding my breath, braced for the inevitable mortar fire, and ... not getting it.

'Okay' she'd say, neatly stepping over my jaw (hanging on the floor in disbelief) and complying.

Steadily we've been able to untangle the complex knots of expectation, manipulation, exasperation and emotional damnation and just conduct our relationship like two normal family members. Or maybe it was just me who had to do that, she just ... grew up.

She's learned to laugh it off. She can handle some light teasing. She knows (quite expertly in fact) how to offer an alternative solution if the one at hand doesn't quite suit her. She strikes a mean bargain. She's irresistibly cute.

She is nearly 4. Life is sweet. I'm so glad she's growing, but could she stop growing? Because, ridiculously, as predicted by me, I miss my soft-cheeked babachoo too ...

putting my feet up

I've been on crutches for 2 weeks now. A silly misstep off the stoep, twisted ankle, pain, strap, bruising, immobility.
It's all really rather silly, but not without benefits.

I have to keep my foot up. I can't drive, or carry anything substantial, or tidy up much, or cook anything too complicated.
I have to sit down as much as possible. I have to read stories rather than play wild games. I have to write, rather than do errands.
I know you're all hating me a little bit, and that's ok.

But the main unexpected and welcome result is how independent my children are getting. I was just wondering around Christmas time whether I'd fallen into that classic loving parent trap of doing too much for my girls.
You know when it's just easier to do it yourself? When it's less messy to fill juice bottles without insisting they do it themselves, when it's less argumentative to put away their washing rather than get into a number about 'not being the servant'?

But now ... I just can't. And ergo, they just have to and, surprise surprise, they're ok with that. Crutches are undeniable, my disability is plain to see.
Need a clean t-shirt from upstairs? Off you go.
Need a snack? You know where the cupboard is.
Need something from a high-up cupboard? Get your sister to help you or wait until Dad gets home.
Sorry.

4 and 7 this year. They're getting more independent all the time and this little boost, early on in the year, is not a bad thing at all.
At R25/week rental from the pharmacy, I may just keep these crutches around for a bit after I'm done using them - cheap at the price for the lessons we're all learning.

And lest you think I'm being bone idle, the little embroidery above. As I said, there's definite benefits.

the 46 brazillionth post ever on how to display kiddie art

We haven't done organised crafting for ages ... have we outgrown it? Probably more to do with the fact that our art room has been a revolting, disorganised, uninviting shambles for months, a state I finally remedied these past holidays. 

And jeez did I unearth a lot of art.

Although not crafting as such, we always have paints available on a table in there and over the last while the girls have filled page after page with lovely colours and textures, all left on windowsills to dry and never thought of again.

I tell myself the process is more important than the end product but I still hate throwing these creations away. 

Add to them the mountains of stuff which came home from school at the end of last term and ja, a lot of art.

The pick of the crop I stuck up on one wall, a towering monument to my small people's creativity.

and yes, that's a crate of booze next to the wheel-less trike, because boozing and crafting
go very well together don't you know

And the enormous pile of abstract paintings I sorted and hole-punched with a 2" punch and artfully arranged in a frame I had hanging around (ha ha).

I'd love to do a massive one, in a white frame, but it's a start and I've no doubt those girls will produce much more material for me to use in the future!

talking to kids

A while back I linked to this wonderful, insightful piece by (the always wonderful and insightful really) Rebecca from Girls Gone Child.

She calls bullshit on teaching your kids not to talk to strangers and I couldn't agree more. Go read the piece, I want to say everything she says and she writes it so much better than I could.

A few weeks ago I met a Mum who was anxious about talking to her young kids about any of the 'dangers' of the world and how to protect themselves. She knew it was regarded as highly irresponsible not to, especially given our country's crime rate, but she couldn't bring herself to shatter the peace and trust her children still had with the world.
I was that Mum some years ago, who of us want to talk about evil with our kids?

But I found an approach which is working for me, I'm teaching my girls to trust their gut. And the more I've committed to this approach, the more my eyes have opened to the opportunities to talk to my kids about keeping themselves safe.

We got this book out the library recently.

And when we got to this page, I saw the opportunity for a Conversation.

After lengthy discussion (every page has options of what you'd rather eat or wear or be - great book) it was unanimously decided we'd all rather be lost in a crowd.
And so I asked, 'If you were lost in this crowd, who would you ask for help?'

We talked about who looked as if they were in a hurry, and who looked a bit grumpy or distracted. We talked about who would be most likely to be able to help a lost child.
Lady with the baby came out tops. Followed closely by the Granny.

Life lessons. Without having to get into any unpleasantness. Trust your gut, be sensible, live, make friends, talk to strangers, learn from books.
These are things I can teach them.